ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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