i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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