YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
