would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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