Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
