so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
