Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
