thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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