ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
