it was like his penis was on wheels.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He did a backflip because drugs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
