That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
