i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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