how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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