I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
