the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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