Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
