I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
