ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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