these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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