I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i now understand why vodka
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
