Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
