i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
