dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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