I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
