Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So much rum. So many feels.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
