is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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