I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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