Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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