so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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