I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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