I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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