Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
