my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
3pm strippers are depressing
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
