Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
