you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
