Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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