I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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