Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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