OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
