why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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