So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
