my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
