Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
