everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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