they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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