Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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