I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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