West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
