piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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