I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
