Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
