I'm lost and stupid without you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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