But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
